Why all the Russian about?

Richard Butt
30/ 5/2008

THERE are some things in life that I just don’t ‘get’. Aniseed. Only Fools and Horses. Didsbury. Football. I’ve never seen why other people think they’re so marvellous.

And that’s especially true of football. So it was ironic that it fell to me last week to go and talk to Manchester United fans about going to Russia.

I went to the airport three times to gauge their views and mood. On Wednesday, I arrived at the airport just before 1am to see the majority of them leave Blighty.

They were going to play another English team in Russia to win what seemed to be the Eurovision Football Contest. I thought that had been won a week earlier by a Russian team in Manchester. And I was confused.

Okay, I did work out that there must be two separate competitions but on my give-a-toss-o-meter the whole shebang barely scraped a 2, so I didn’t go a-Googling.

Most of the people at the airport were spending more than £1,000 of their hard-earned to go and see 22 millionaires running about for an hour and a half. They could have stayed at home, watched it (with better close-ups) on the telly and not spent a bean.

At the airport, I did ask what drove them to do it. One fan said: "It’s United. It’s a religion." I suppose he’s right. I’ve never ‘got’ religion either.

I did watch the penalties at the end of the game. I concede that that’s exciting. Why they cannot just do that and forget the boring kicking-the-ball-about bit is beyond me.

Of course, the most important European competition of all took place on Saturday, with the Eurovision Song Contest.

I invited friends around. We had score sheets – marking the song, the outfits, the performance and the dancing. I had Ukraine as top, with Bosnia and Herzegovina not far behind. Russia didn’t even gain mid-table respectability from any of my assembled guests, yet it went on to win handsomely.

To a man and woman, we were outraged. And, unlike fans at football matches, our anger was fuelled by gin Martinis.

Only the next day did we realise it wasn’t actually in the least bit important. I just hope that when the Eurovision final is held in Russia next year, I get to go and talk to the fans jetting off to Moscow at 1am. At least I wouldn’t have to ask what drove them to do such a bonkers thing.

Richard Butt edits Channel M’s early evening news – every weeknight from 5pm